People always say that you should invest in relationships but every investment has to first be gauged to see if it’s worth investing into lest one loses out on good time.

For instance, have you ever loved someone so much and you invested so much into that person; time, resources, gifts only to find out that the person never really loved you but loved someone else, most times you’ll know this by seeing an invitation letter to their wedding with the true love of their lives.

People relate with you according to the motives that they have in their heart and it falls under these three.

I) those who genuinely love you, you are the object of their passion and commitment, not your dreams or your assets (skills, gifts or treasures)

This is the truest form of relationship

II) Those that love what you represent, what you have and where you’re going. We can say they have a motive to get something by being close to you or be inspired by your vision.

They hope that your diligence helps them stay visionary, they will dump you immediately they find a better alternative and choice.

III) Those that partner with you to fight a bigger enemy, they neither love you nor what you represent.

There’s this Bible verse that gets me every time I read it, Psalms 55:12-14

For it was not an enemy that approached me, then I could have borne it, neither was it he that hated me then I would have hid myself but it was you, a man my equal, my close friend, we took counsel together…..

But there are steps to take to maintain the relationships that you have with others.

A. Make them feel valued:

This means that your friends should be given an impression that they are not easily replaceable in your life, they need to feel appreciated, don’t make them feel like it’s a privilege to be around you, let people who are acquainted with you feel valued

B. Mutual Honour

Honour is the celebration of one’s difference and uniqueness, do well to let them know that they mean alot to you, this can be communicated in the way you talk to them, give gifts and spend time to be around them.

C. Clarity of roles and expectations.

Assumptions have caused alot of problems in relationships, when there is no clarity of roles there would be tension, the friendship level should be well defined and shown lest people are being led on or feel that they are closer than you than they really are.

Everyone cannot be close to you as well as you can’t be as close to everyone as you desire, for some it would require time for them to accept you in their inner circle and you need to respect true boundaries that you are given in a relationship.

When you do these, you will maintain the relationships that you have with other people

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